My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
