that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
