as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love you.
Bad choice
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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