I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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