I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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