it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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