i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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