Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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