goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
