oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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