i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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