they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
