WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
