OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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