I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Couch. On fire.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
