She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
