I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
