The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
