i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
