i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
