sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
