i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize