Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
