I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
