Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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