the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
