i jhust puked up my retainher.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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