in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
