just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
