It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
