I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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