life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
