I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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