even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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