Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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