yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
