I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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