Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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