Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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