i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
