I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
