i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize