So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How's work?
Spinning.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
