Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm getting married
To pizza
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
