It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
