It was confusing and full of hummus
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
FUCK WHALES
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
that may or may not have been my penis.
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