found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
