Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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