last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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