Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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