you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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