Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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