I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
